I was intentionally out of contact with the family for about 25 years, and have no regrets. Had a great time without them.

A few of them I’ve missed, and I’ve mellowed, so I’m back in contact again but only under my terms, and it’s working out nicely. Thanks for asking.

Doing fine except when other family members try to argue that we should let them back in.

Uh, no, he tried to break into my apartment at 1am high as a kite. It was fucking scary, and that was also the first time I’d seen him in over a year despite living less than a mile away.

They don’t want to accept that his addiction has fundamentally changed him into a different person.

I am proud of all of you

Cut out my abusive father and stepmother two years ago, never been better but it took a while to deal with all the trauma they caused.

Hugs to everyone, y’all are doing great.

I assume you mean, how is the relationship, not how am I doing in life? I’ve done about 95% of cutting my dad out of my life, usually just end up regretting the leftover 5% I’ve kept in place. He’s been an asshole my entire life, but ever since Trump I find it hard to even have a conversation with him. I’m better off without him for sure. Which fucking sucks because he’s the only family that actually lives close to me.

I’m estranged with my father. I’ve been no contact for several years now and I intend to keep it that way despite how much my family wants me to reconnect with him. I feel that I’m better off without him.

I still have tons of trauma from growing up in that environment, but the freedom immediately after I cut them out was astounding.

I can indulge my hobbies without getting vitriol. I don’t come home to someone calling me stupid or threatening violence.

I’m not as “successful” as someone without my upbringing might have been–a lot of traits that make someone successful were broken in me early since I have a strong response to stress of any sort (I react automatically as if ANY stress is a survival thing of life or death and my defense mechanism to flee pops in which screws things up), and my life experience has shown me that other people are chaotic and untrustworthy and that it’s unlikely I’ll get any reward for toeing their lines or rules, but on the other hand, I also broke the cycle of abuse that my other family members who didn’t spend a lot of reflective time picking apart their trauma still continue on with.

So by the measure of “not being an abusive asshat”, I’ve been successful. And it sounds like that’s a low bar, but when your early experiences ONLY have examples of neglectful or abusive asshats, it takes a lot to walk away from it and not do the same thing you watched and learned from as you grew up. You basically have to be contrary to everyone and everything in your world to break free, and it’s hard since humans aren’t wired like that, they’re wired to conform.

So yeah. I’m not in the most wonderful place ever, but I think things would be IMMEASURABLY harder if I had to deal with my flaws now AND, on top of that, abusive and neglectful family dragging me down too. And I’ve had some wins, mainly that I’m not a cruel person.