• FlowVoid@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    Close! But here’s what actually happened…

    FlowVoid: Hi, I’m FlowVoid, your 1:30 pm appointment. I’m here for some guaranteed returns, here’s $3.50, now set me up finance bro.

    Person in finance: Nothing has guaranteed returns. Also get out.

    • KevonLooney@lemm.ee
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      11 months ago

      You can get a guaranteed return in many ways.

      • US Treasury bonds: if the US government fails you’ll have bigger problems than money. You don’t need to worry about that scenario. You’ll win the lottery first.
      • Pay off a loan: by paying off your principal early you can guarantee that you pay less interest in the future.
      • Buy something that saves you money: if you like cooking, an herb garden will save you a lot of money. If you like sweets, baking equipment will do the same.