Update: Tried the sweetango and pink lady with a granny smith.
- The pink lady has way thicker skin than the granny smith, so I have no idea how granny smith got 0 points for skin based on it being too thick while pink lady got 5. Like yeah, the thick skin is good for you, so I like that, but the site clearly thought otherwise.
- I agree now with the 3.5/5 tartness rating. Either the one I had before was an outlier or I was misremembering. It’s tart enough for sure.
- This particular granny smith was having an off-day and wasn’t nearly as tart as usual granny smiths.
- Probably like a 70/100 for me. Flavor’s tolerable, reasonable price, reasonably juicy, mediocre texture, thick skin improves one of the few health benefits apples have over other fruits. Still much prefer something like honeycrisp, cosmic crisp, or sugarbee. Not the third-best apple at all.
- Generally preferred the granny smith, especially because a bite of pink lady goes right from tart to this mild, almost sickening sweetness like some Roman was working at the orchard and put lead in it.
- They were smoking crack when they gave sweetango a 95/100 and ranked it the best apple. This right here is a fucking 6/10 apple. The texture was like a less egregious red delicious. I can’t even remember the flavor like 15 minutes later. Tiny little nothing. Genuinely one of the most forgettable apples I’ve eaten in my life.
The other day, I wrote this comment. I remarked that pink lady apples have “practically zero tartness”, that they don’t compete with even the nowadays hit-or-miss honeycrisp, and that a 90/100 is an outrageous assessment when something like a granny smith is at a 57. Enough of you disagreed and it’s been long enough that, as a man of science, I aim today to challenge my own biases.
I’m at the grocery store right now, and in my cart are two pink lady apples in pristine condition. Get ready, fuckers, because in the next couple hours, I’m giving you my real thoughts on these overrated starter apples.
I also have a few sweetangos, which the ranking website shills for hard.
Pinging @fonix232@fedia.io @feannag@sh.itjust.works @OddMinus1@sh.itjust.works @bunkyprewster@startrek.website
Unlike a little tartness but granny smiths are too tart for me to enjoy outside of baking.
Pink lady’s are hardly tart at all. I don’t know why they have that reputation.
I agree with this guy 100%.
I just had a sweetango for the first time yesterday and it was fantastic. Refrigerated though.
Tried the second sweetango refrigerated and didn’t get what you got out of it, unfortunately. It was better, but in a bare minimum way that I’d expect any refrigerated apple to be better.
I worked for an company that specialized in growing apples for 5 years. They are seriously dull. I always enjoyed talking about the grass they grew between the rows than than apples. I still have a few of them as customers although I ban all that bullshit apple talk. Yawn…
Apples are stored in large coolers with all the O2 removed. The lack of O2 prevents molds from growing. They are also all coated with some complex polymers to help prevent yeast and bacterial activity. They can last for about a year in storage. They juice apples that don’t make the grade or start to break down in storage. Once the juice market is full, they dump the apples to dairies or feedlots.
Apples varieties are all clones of one plant. They don’t really change over time. Fruit quality like the infamous red delicious mealiness is due to growing temperature, water, fruit load and nutrition. Every apple variety has its own special needs and growers often screw it up especially in mixed variety orchards. Climate change also adds complexity as apple varieties are genetically uniform and therefore respond to environmental stresses uniformly. So you can get good and bad years for certain varieties. For example cosmic crisp can be variable in internal quality depending on the year (From a WSU presentation in 2022). So they have done all sorts of trials to ensure a more reliable performance.
Special Note for those that like to visit older orchards: When visiting a older orchard, you must carefully wash all of the fruit. Every older orchard on the planet is contaminated with lead and arsenic (lead arsenate was used for over 100 years as an insecticide). These are not transported by the trees to the fruit but the dirt is still contaminated.
Wait. Are you saying that I am NOT mis remembering that red delicious apples used to be crisp?
They still are if they are grown right. The low price for many years has meant that growers half-ass taking care of them. Red delicious struggle to take up calcium from the roots. They need to be foliar fed with it during the early growing season.
Yo brother this ain’t dull. It’s straight apple wars.
Oh yeah? Well maybe the reason it fits is because pink ladies are dull and basic.
Thems fighting words!
they see me bobbin’
they hatin’
yeah
Given the strength of your feelings about apples, I believe you will appreciate this website, and in particular, you’ll appreciate this specific entry.
NSFW
That’s the site that this follow-up is about.
My original comment I link in this post is lambasting that website.
You: “not only am I aware of the website, I am actually writing my second review of the website, because I hate them and they’re wrong about it all.”
Lol. So, like, I used to live some miles away from a farm that grew a bunch of different heirloom apples. Which piqued my interest and sent me searching for other (semi-easily accessible) apple varieties when I traveled. I kept notes as I went; I’ve probably eaten and rated over 250 varieties by now. Anyway, I have some basic knowledge on this.
Regarding the ratings site (which I haven’t looked at; I’m tired and am just desperately trying to get my brain to settle so I can sleep) vs your ratings: sourcing matters. If you’re buying apples from the grocery store, even at this time of year, there’s a chance you’re buying last year’s apples. That’s going to affect the skin, the texture, and the flavor of the apple. See if you can find fresh-picked (and preferably locally-grown) apples for your comparisons. It’s possible that you and that website are comparing old vs new apples.
Secondly, temperature matters. No, seriously. If you’re getting apples for testing, get two. Put one in the fridge and the other on the counter, then eat them the next day. Alternate bites, clearing your taste buds between. You’re looking at crunch (biting through the skin and the apple), texture (whether the flesh holds up to the bite or becomes mealy), sweetness, tang, astringency; the first flavors that come through, and how the flavor develops as you chew. Probably other factors I’m not thinking of at the moment, but you can make up your own
What you’ll find is that coldness will boost the flavor profile: something that’s very mild at room temperature may have a rich and complex flavor when cold; and something that’s too sharp and almost bitter becomes refreshing and delicious at room temperature.
If you’re a denigrator of Red Delicious, get yourself to an orchard with old-style Red Delicious - trees at least 35 years old, get them at harvest time, and they’re fucking delicious.
Remember that there are three main types of apples: cider apples, eating apples, and cooking apples. While many apples have multiple uses, it’s rare that a cooking apples will come out on top when eaten raw.
Finally, the best apples I’ve found so far are Winchester for eating and Northern Spy for cooking.
I appreciate the quality and depth of your comment, but I am also skeptical because every red “delicious” I’ve ever had has tasted like apple-flavored cardboard pulp molded into the shape of an apple. I admit that my interest is piqued, though. It must have tasted pretty different at one time to be an award winner.
The only thing I can come up with is that the etymology of “delicious” in “Red Delicious” is from English (arcane) meaning flavorless sand rock or something similar. (Although I remember reading that Red Delicious apples are more nutritious than other varieties. Perhaps they just open some multivitamin capsules and inject them into each apple.) I personally haven’t eaten a single edible, let alone enjoyable, Red Delicious apple.
If i remember correctly, Red Delicious used to be fantastic, but was genetically selected to be more and more of that unique red color and lost its other, more desirable traits because of the genetic selection
Red Delicious did indeed used to be fantastic. I recall from my childhood.
I recall them being awful when I was a kid and am going on 60! Just how old are you, that you can remember when they were good?
They are the reason I thought apples sucked.
Roughly the same age. I have no explanation.
…could that be skewed by a relative risein sugar intake (possibly by an order or magnitude, if I’m being facetious)
in loving this intense apple debate, though!
I mean, our tastes do change over the years, but I think if the apple were the same, I would find it too sweet today.
I think I might’ve been shoving a separate topic into the conversation as usual
As a kid that grew up on Koolaid and Sweet Tea and pixie sticks and rarely drank just ice water and now rarely has any of those sugar drinks and all water all the time… I really don’t think so. But I also don’t know how I don’t have diabetes at this point.
wow, that’s wild… I think I might’ve been shoving a separate topic into the conversation as usual
This is beautiful. Thank you. The second pink lady was, indeed, destined for the refrigerator, as was a second sweetango. I much prefer apples refrigerated, but since I don’t usually have that level of foresight, I tried them for this first test as I usually eat them, which is room-temperature.
What do you think of Braeburn?
Braeburn was my grocery store go-to for a while there. But then they caught on and started importing them from overseas. I don’t have an issue with importing, especially for things that I’ve never really had fresh-off-the-tree (bananas, pineapple), but for something that was picked under-ripe and shipped halfway across the world while sitting in storage for six months - nah. If your store has access to in-season Braeburn, go for it!
I have pretty much stopped eating fresh apples. Since I’m old and have kept apple trees growing for me most of my life, I know what they are supposed to taste like.
Ain’t none of the crap you guys are eating these days taste of anything at all. They have been all replaced by apples meant for long storage and not taste. You can have one, but not the other. Even those “heirloom varieties” at those orchards suffer from the that selective breeding. Just to a lesser extent. I remember when you couldn’t buy an apple at the grocery store after Thanksgiving. And the next apple we would get at Christmas as kids was a big mealy red apple that had no flavor and was almost dessicated from too long storage. Sad apples are sad.
And don’t get me started on potatoes or tomatoes either. Useless grocery store garbage. All of it!
**This Grandpa Rants is brought to you by ExLax and Pepto Bismal and your local Pharmacy. The best way to screw up your gut health is better living through modern chemistry! And don’t forget to tune again to “Grandpa Rants!” next week at this same time.
Tomatoes I’ve noticed have no rate anymore, yeah. It’s sad. I can’t imagine there is a fraction of the nutrients still in there after the taste has also been selectively bred out. And they wonder why we are getting sicker.
Part of the appeal for me is that they aren’t so tart. I find the Granny Smith too sour for my tastes most of the time. They are remarkably crisp however, unlike Red Delicious which are typically enjoyed by felons and sociopaths (and my wife).
Granny Smith are best enjoyed with a slice of sharp Cheddar, or baked in a pie, otherwise they aren’t nice at all.
nah dude - chopped over a homemade cereal thats mostly oats nuts and seeds with an unhealthy dose of dried fruit and they’re all good!
best with unsweetened yoghurt!
So some context for that thread: the review website gave it a “3.5/5” for tartness. I don’t think tartness is a measure of quality; I just thought that was way too high
I’m skeptical you had a real Pink Lady if you thought the skin was thick.
I don’t really enjoy Granny Smiths, but give me a nice Cosmic Crisp any day!
Cosmic crisp gang GANG!!!
Yeah boooiiiiii!
I’ve lived in Japan too long; I thought this was about the singer.
It’s kinda interesting with apples how the varietals have different names. Some are distinct, but I’m pretty sure some are the same as US brands just with a fake moustache.
And don’t get me started on potatoes between the US, UK, and Japan…
Here I am, knowing that you’re all wrong. Cortland is king!
Truth! Cortland is king, soft skin/flesh, nice flavor, GIANTness!
Lol. Firmgold all the way.
Feel free to hate Pink Lady’s, that leaves more for me.
Spartan or GTFO
