- cross-posted to:
- nolawns@slrpnk.net
- cross-posted to:
- nolawns@slrpnk.net
cross-posted from: https://slrpnk.net/post/21121913
What could be more indicative of a thirst for power and control than a perfectly level, uniform expanse of grass? Clearly, only someone with fascist tendencies would aspire to such impeccable orderliness, attempting to impose their oppressive standards on nature itself. Because nothing says “I want to dominate the world” quite like the pursuit of a weed-free lawn.
Consider the process of maintaining a lawn. It’s essentially an exercise in subjugation. Mowing down innocent blades of grass week after week, enforcing a uniform height – it’s like a tiny dictatorship being played out in your front yard. And let’s not even mention the chemical warfare that goes on behind the scenes – those pesticides and fertilizers are the secret tools of aspiring autocrats, seeking to eliminate any form of diversity (read: weeds) in their quest for homogeneity.
But the plot thickens when we consider the boundary lines. The quintessential white picket fence, meticulously aligned with the driveway, serves as a clear metaphor for the barriers these so-called “lawn fascists” wish to erect between themselves and the rest of the world. Heaven forbid a dandelion or, heaven forbid, a clover should breach these sacred borders! It’s not just a lawn, it’s a fortified buffer zone against any hint of dissenting plant life.
And let’s talk about the water consumption. While the rest of us worry about global water shortages and environmental sustainability, these lawn-loving authoritarians are apparently convinced that the well-being of their turf is of paramount importance. Are they hoarding water to fuel their nefarious plans for world domination? It wouldn’t be surprising – every power-hungry despot needs a well-hydrated base of operations.
In conclusion, the evidence is irrefutable: anyone with a lawn is a fascist. The quest for a pristine lawn represents a disturbing desire for control, uniformity, and domination over the natural world. So, the next time you see a neatly trimmed yard, just remember – behind that innocent facade of green lies a potential dictator in the making, plotting to impose their authoritarian rule, one well-timed sprinkler cycle at a time.
Hmm, I basically agree with this
If you have a pet and a garden, and plant a variety of different plants and trees and shrubs, and then watch where they choose to sit and lie, and it will predominantly be on the grass.
There’s like two things in nature that are pleasant to sit on, moss and short grass, and moss takes like 1000x longer to grow.
Not everything needs to be lawns, but short grass is fundamentally pleasant for human beings and other animals who like soft ground cover and not having to worry about ticks and spiders and stuff.
Yes, I am familiar with grass. It’s nice to have in some places and in limited amounts. However, I’d wager that the majority of grass is not used for anything except aesthetics. There are some other benefits, like keeping insects and wildlife away from structures. While this article is hyperbolic, it makes some good points. Grass is an unproductive monoculture. It’s cut before it even goes to seed, and therefore doesn’t produce food for animals like it would in the wild. People use polluting ICE engines to tend to it (I had a neighbor who mowed his a 1 acre lawn literally every day with a riding mower). People cover lawns in toxic herbicides, pesticides and fertilizers. And then, much of what is cut goes to the landfill, not even compost.