The comment on homoeroticism strikes me. It’s a sensitive subject but I think I get what you mean. A lot of the things “straight” guys say and do really gives me pause. Like even just the obsession with male genitalia, or the concept of “bromance”. I really think it’s the culture of patriarchial misogyny that’s pushing guys into resenting their honest feelings towards other men, and so they find culturally acceptable ways to feel intimate with men in a world that demands confirmity to heterosexuality. I think we’d have a lot more happy, loving bi/pan men in this world who were kinder to women and each other if we could wave a magic wand and make the patriarchy disappear.
I tend to view the types of people who strongly identify and present themselves as straight to be people that are living in a state of near absolute hypocrisy. Their actions are often the opposite of what they say. This really spreads out and changes the people and culture around them.
When looking at modern masculinity, how often
do these contradictions appear? So many men feel they must present themselves as strong and emotionless yet are quick to express explosive anger. It’s as if anger does not exist as an emotion to them. But anger is an emotion.
Then while feeling hurt and angry, they will point to anyone else who feels their own hurt and anger and accuse those other people of being something less than a man. All while feeling the same types of emotions.
Dominance and submission is also an interesting part of the masculinity confusion. Men are often told or shown examples of men who are strong and independent. So they want to be strong and independent. And they say they are strong and independent.
Then they are told to be loyal and that they must respect their elders, especially the men. Now that strength and independence must submit to their elders. Everything they are told to be gets cancelled out by how they think they must act. They can scream in your face that they are men, they are strong and they are independent, yet cower at presence of a man who they see as someone with authority and power.
This view that I have of people who strongly see themselves as straight gets very weird and very uncomfortable when you start applying it to sex, sexuality and kinks. Think “virile, black stallion” or cuckoldry for example.
I’ve reached a point where I personally no longer view those who identify themselves as gay to be gay. They are simply people doing people things. Because they are simply people, nothing more, nothing less. Those who use the word gay as an attack are often everything they are afraid to being. Which is sad because there’s nothing wrong with loving another person.
Living in such a constant state of hypocrisy is confusing. For everyone. To be a man, you are very much at a war with everyone including yourself. To be on the outside of masculinity, you are forced into a war with people who are at war with everyone including themselves. It’s exhausting because this war is fueled by everyone else’s time, energy and patience.
The comment on homoeroticism strikes me. It’s a sensitive subject but I think I get what you mean. A lot of the things “straight” guys say and do really gives me pause. Like even just the obsession with male genitalia, or the concept of “bromance”. I really think it’s the culture of patriarchial misogyny that’s pushing guys into resenting their honest feelings towards other men, and so they find culturally acceptable ways to feel intimate with men in a world that demands confirmity to heterosexuality. I think we’d have a lot more happy, loving bi/pan men in this world who were kinder to women and each other if we could wave a magic wand and make the patriarchy disappear.
I tend to view the types of people who strongly identify and present themselves as straight to be people that are living in a state of near absolute hypocrisy. Their actions are often the opposite of what they say. This really spreads out and changes the people and culture around them.
When looking at modern masculinity, how often do these contradictions appear? So many men feel they must present themselves as strong and emotionless yet are quick to express explosive anger. It’s as if anger does not exist as an emotion to them. But anger is an emotion.
Then while feeling hurt and angry, they will point to anyone else who feels their own hurt and anger and accuse those other people of being something less than a man. All while feeling the same types of emotions.
Dominance and submission is also an interesting part of the masculinity confusion. Men are often told or shown examples of men who are strong and independent. So they want to be strong and independent. And they say they are strong and independent.
Then they are told to be loyal and that they must respect their elders, especially the men. Now that strength and independence must submit to their elders. Everything they are told to be gets cancelled out by how they think they must act. They can scream in your face that they are men, they are strong and they are independent, yet cower at presence of a man who they see as someone with authority and power.
This view that I have of people who strongly see themselves as straight gets very weird and very uncomfortable when you start applying it to sex, sexuality and kinks. Think “virile, black stallion” or cuckoldry for example.
I’ve reached a point where I personally no longer view those who identify themselves as gay to be gay. They are simply people doing people things. Because they are simply people, nothing more, nothing less. Those who use the word gay as an attack are often everything they are afraid to being. Which is sad because there’s nothing wrong with loving another person.
Living in such a constant state of hypocrisy is confusing. For everyone. To be a man, you are very much at a war with everyone including yourself. To be on the outside of masculinity, you are forced into a war with people who are at war with everyone including themselves. It’s exhausting because this war is fueled by everyone else’s time, energy and patience.