so this one girl, i’ll call her ella (19f) is transphobic, homophobic
she lashes out a lot, exaggerates things, and cannot read social cues. however, she has autism and adhd and is mentally much younger.
she also gets mad when i call a trans man “he” and she says “SHE’S A GIRL EVEN THO SHE LOOKS LIKE A MAN LOL”
she says she got her views from her parents and refuses to change because “it’s the way i am”. for someone who was mentally 19, I’d cut contact, but she’s mentally a lot younger.
Autist here, completely agree.
Many subtle, more context dependent social cues took me a lot longer than NTs, Allistic people, to figure out… though I excelled at school and have gone on to hold highly technical data analysis/reporting, db admin type jobs.
Blatant bigotry is… not a very subtle or context dependent thing to understand.
This fairly young 19F girl comes from a bigotted family that has completely or mostly normalized this kind of behavior, and has also infantalized her into believing Autism and ADHD are excuses for her poor behavior, as opposed to explanations.
Right wing bigots tend to treat Autism (and really any mental disorder) as basically ‘they’re retards, just expect them to be shitty, and also I am a hero for raising a retard baby’, as opposed to actually taking time to learn the ins and outs of how their minds operate differently, and learn together how to bridge that gap, with a bit of accomodation coming from both sides.
This often results in infantilization of the kid, of just taking away their agency, instead of actually putting in the extra work to help them build up their agency and tweak or tune their worldview to be a bit more aligned with, or at least aware of, how much of the world doesn’t operate by the rules that an Autistic person would default to.
(Just go look at how RFK Jr apparently think we are literally pants shittingly stupid and will never pay taxes or go on a date… given the Kennedy family history of literally lobotomizing his own aunt I think it was, for her mental disorder… yeah not looking great for us NDs with this frat boy fail son with a brain worm where his brain should be as fucking Health Secretary.)
Right wing idiot bigots are not very good at critical thinking, so… yeah, it makes sense that they also suck at teaching critical thinking.
I have often seen this produce many additional behavioral problems in other younger Autistic people… because their idiot familes basically Munchausen-by-proxy their Autistic kids into beleiving they are far, far less capable generally than they actually are.
In a sense, her family was probably bigoted toward her by treating her as a caricature of what Autism actually is during her most fundamental developmental years… needlessly stifling her mental development… so now she is doing the same and broadly being bigoted toward other people with other ‘labels’ that fit into other ‘boxes’.
This girl needs to learn to stop excusing her bigotrd shittiness by pointing at her mental conditions.
There are plenty of people with Autism and/or ADHD who … yes their minds work differently, but they aren’t all raging bigots, thats on her.