i graduated high school and i notice that everybody keeps referring to interpersonal hatred as ”high school behaviour” but i think that this lasts forever and you have to actively work against being bullied like for the rest of your life. it happens in the workplace, in college, in nursing homes, on the internet etc. its inescapable. working against being rejected/harmed is as repetitive as bills are for most adults

i feel like we neurodivergents are especially burdened with having to be self aware and think about every social interaction. you have to be self aware if youre ugly and not post certain things and not talk to certain people and not do certain things.

its so exhausting and i barely feel like a human being anymore. so much of my energy goes towards getting smoothly through social interactions. i feel like ive lost contact with myself.

and now with the internet neurotypicals are even more furious about this. they have rules about what to post on tiktok and what to post on instagram and how to respond to comments and what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do. the internet used to be a place where i could talk to people without social rules i didnt understand but now both here and IRL you have to deal with endless social rules that you get no relief from ever.