So long story short, I essentially spend the last 1.5 years rotting at home in bed oscillating from mild to heavy depression, though abt 7months of them was intense studies before I burned out. But anyway I went to a college today, a decent one not amazing, just whatever I got, just to get a look. It starts next week. And to find places to live in a different city (though its only about 100kms apart from my home).
And yeah I am kinda scared now idk. I do not really have any meaningful friends or something or a mentor to ask advice, so well I would like to hear your stories! Or any tips? I am kinda introverted, well not kinda quite a bit. But I wont say I am under-confident, I do not have trouble talking to people or something, mostly I just find hard to relate with them. Even today I tried striking some casual convos but seniors have some attitude towards freshers i guess, and freshers were too busy completing their docs maybe.
College isn’t a race, it’s a marathon. Pick a pace that works for you. This might mean a light class load, being jobless for a while, or limiting your social life. Once you have academia under control, introduce new variables.
Yup. Maybe I’m just a lazy bum but I can only really handle college a few years at a time. My first time was awful, I wasn’t ready and blew off half the year I went. My last go was 2 years long and I did incredibly well, but transferred to a new career using my newfound knowledge and had to put a pause on things. Now I’m about 2 years into that and am just starting to feel like I have the mental wriggle room to start thinking about picking up a class or two… I may be 50 by the time I end up actually “completing” something! But one of my last classes had a gentleman in his 60s, so I’m not too worried. Everyone has their own speed, just find yours.
I would rather saw myself in half from crotch to crown with a muzzle loading musket than go back to college.
Don’t take things too seriously, socially not academically.
Purely from the academic side…
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Go to class. Don’t take online/remote classes if possible. Don’t skip. If you need extra incentive, calculate how much you are spending per class. Getting your ass out of your dorm/apartment will help motivate you and do more stuff. This will be an unpopular opinion, but I suggest taking the earliest classes you can and stacking them up. It will give you more time to get your work done later.
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Sit in the FRONT row. It will help you pay attention. Take notes. Not on a laptop. By hand. Writing will help you remember.
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Work hard/play hard. Weekends are yours, but weekdays are for getting shit done. This will help you build good habits for after you are done with school. College is super expensive. Don’t fuck it up.
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Don’t take a major that doesn’t have some type of acreditation. Again, this will be unpopular, but ask yourself if you could learn stuff on your own/through experience/as a student-at-large. Accounting: yes. Medicine: yes. MBA: yes. Law: yes. You can’t do those things without college. Art: no. Philosophy: no. Just go DO those things. Take a class if you want to strengthen your skills, but you need to be incredibly driven to succeed.
Accreditation is for if the degree/classes is recognized by other institutions and fulfills certain requirements. Art, philosophy, underwater basket weaving, and some made up major can all be accredited.
I think you are searching for “STEM”
Yes, good point. I used that term incorrectly. And I didn’t intend to disparage any major. If you have the cash, by all means, study what you want and enjoy learning. I have an art degree myself. I just didn’t need the degree to get a job. I could have built a portfolio on my own if I had the motivation.
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In regards to making friends, this is probably one of the easiest places to make them. It doesn’t mean you’ll be friends with everyone, but it means you’ll have a lot more opportunities. Say yes and be open to be experiences.
Also, a big shift for college from high school is that more of the responsibility to stay motivated and on top of things falls onto you directly. That includes getting up and going to class and doing the work when you’re going through a depressive episode. You’re going to need to have a way to push through when you’re otherwise not up to it.
Also, college isn’t just about learning. It is about experiencing new things and taking leadership. Don’t forget to do that as well.
Best advice I can give is this: have a “say yes” mentality in your social life. Someone asks you to go do anything/attend any event, say yes.
Also, in terms of academics, treat it like your job --8 hrs a day, five days per week. Stay on top of stuff. Don’t put off doing what can be done today. For big essays or projects, work on it in parts (day 1 outline; day 2 supporting sources; day three first third of rough draft; and so on and so forth).
Best of luck.
You like butt sex?
Treat it like an 8hr workday
treat it like your job --8 hrs a day
It helped me so much after I realized this. It’s a really good way to learn discipline. I have worked 35 hours before for 2 years, so it wasn’t too hard to get used to it.
I know so many people that started out with a super relaxed life style, smoking pot, partying and enjoying their student life, only to realize after 3 years they fucked up. Many of them are still studying, while I have graduated 6 years ago now.
I still had to job for financing my student life, so 8 hours a day was no realistic, but I gave my best.
Everyone else who is going to university in your class is in the same boat as you. Meet people, talk to people, get involved in things.
Also don’t spin into the ground about what your major is that will change.
University is about managing the work loads man.
As tempting as it is, to skip classes, don’t. Go to every class.
I am envious, undergrad was so excellent.
From my experience at a few different schools, other students don’t care whether you are a freshman, senior, etc. People intermingle pretty freely, although there may be some older students who don’t want to hang out with an 18-year-old fresh out of high school, simply due to being at different places in life.
Anyway, I wouldn’t worry about that.
Without jeopardizing your academics, prioritize rare things.
TV and video games will always be there. Your friend asking you to come play tennis won’t. Go play tennis even if you don’t think you’ll love it.
Make making friends a priority. Join clubs, go to parties, ask classmates if they want to study together. If you don’t have a mealtime crew, ask people in the dining hall if you can sit with them.
Be careful with drugs, especially alcohol. I’m not saying don’t experiment, but be mindful of how much you’re using and the effects they have. I was not careful with alcohol in my youth and… I wish I had been.
Try things you’re interested in, and try things you aren’t interested in. It’s hard to know what’s interesting without giving it, as they say, the ol’ college try.
My only college regret was that I did not spend enough time in the library. I could have spent at least 3 hours a day studying inside that library, and instead I did nothing during the day, and procrastinated in the evening.
Seconding this. The library was my best friend when I was still in school (I did not finish my degree but the field I am in was satisfied with what I’d accomplished). I made myself do most of my homework there and it’s probably one of the main reasons I got as far as I did. My college had private study rooms with a large table and white board in them; some people would isolate themselves in there and use it for a large workspace for their own projects, but when I was in Gen Chem (that class nearly killed me), I was there with classmates most weeks doing study groups.
OP, if you are the introverted type, these informal study groups are one of the best ways you can get to know people imo. It’s like the classroom, because you’ve all got the same class, tests, homework etc, but it’s less formal and more social. It was my favorite place to share the weird ways I made the concepts make sense to me, and next to my professor was the best source of information.
for me, it’s when most of my decisions start making big impacts.
sure, there’s still time for amateur hour, but be sure to get back up quick if you ever trip or fall.
academia is a fun time. so some people still stick to it.
I’m back in school at ~40, so you got back on track quicker than I did!
Consult ratemyprofessor.com but don’t treat it like a bible, sometimes teachers with a strong personality get bad reviews. But if it’s mostly bad reviews that’s a red flag.
Be SO unashamed to ask questions, nobody is taking these classes because they already know everything. Asking questions is a shortcut to showing you’re engaged and thinking, on top of it just helping you to understand something. If you’re wondering, someone else is too.
If a teacher is an ass to you over this or anything else, you can usually withdraw from a class and get your money back in the first week or two of classes.
Look for clubs you’re interested in and participate. Check out stuff that sounds interesting but you know nothing about. Maybe be a little on the look out for cults and multilevel marketing.
Take the time to volunteer for a cause you feel strongly about. It doesn’t have to be a huge amount of time or every week, but it’s worth doing, and usually benefits whatever clubs you’re in.
I consider myself introverted as well, it was scary to learn to do a lot of this stuff but I think it’s really worth pushing through the discomfort.
Cannot emphasize enough how important it is to ask questions if anything is unclear. Stay after class for a few minutes if you need to. Use office hours if you can. The students who did the best in my classes always asked for clarification on stuff and I was thrilled to take time and give whatever help I could. It shows that you’re making an effort to learn, and you’ll stand out (which can sometimes count for a little extra something at the end of the semester if you’re on the fence between two grades).
Join a cool club. Best way to make cool friends.
Pick classes and professors that are easy. A single bad semester can fuck GPA.
And yeah I am kinda scared now idk.
“don’t worry about it”. 😐 Which is bad advice to someone after burnout and specifically asking for advice, but it’s also kind of true.
But first things first:
Even today I tried striking some casual convos but seniors have some attitude towards freshers i guess, and freshers were too busy completing their docs maybe.
Some people are just… useless and weird. Don’t bother with them. Like, don’t stress about why someone doesn’t want to talk with you, or does or doesn’t do something. Including professors. Some are nice, some are just there to do their job, and you will be able to tell which is which. I’ve met plenty of people who can’t hold a conversation to save their lives. Somehow.
mostly I just find hard to relate with them.
Yeah, that’s normal. The world is a big place, chances are you won’t relate to many people.
My biggest, best piece of advice is to join some student club that does stuff that’s not just studying and does it more consistently than just one semester for some course. For example a sports club, who does try and does go to meets and stuff, but the point is enjoying the sport together. Or art. Or books. Or science. That’s where I had most fun and where I got most out of my time.
Because studying is hit and miss. Of course you try to go for something interesting but you never know in advance if you can actually stand the work or do the workload or if you need to switch… majors I think it’s college? Don’t worry about that either.
The ONLY THING you absolutely must do, is attend. Get out of bed, and just GO, try to pay attention in the classes and take notes. That’s the barrier most people fail at. They skip classes or attend but don’t pay attention. Put yourself into the situation where “learning” is just the thing you do. Like going to the library, reviewing your material and planning your day in advance to do it.
And everyone is constantly stressed for time too. It’s a good idea to focus on some studying, but don’t reject opportunities that are coming your way because you think it’ll conflict with that. Occasionally try to do more than you think you can handle and you’ll surprise yourself when it works out. Those places are filled with other students who want to do stuff and “career opportunities” (companies trying to score cheap employees) and events and this and that. Just go and keep your eyes open.
