The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Local_Variation_2645 on 2025-03-12 14:34:39.

Me and my fiance Lola (both 26F, changing the names for anonymity lol) are currently planning our wedding for later this year. We’ve booked the venue and organised the reception etc and are currently deciding how our ceremony will go. As we’re lesbians we’re trying to steer away from the traditional wedding and have a nontraditional ceremony (eg walking down the aisle together & not being given away). We went to high school and college together with the same friend groups so we decided to have one small wedding party of bridesmaids for both of us with our six best friends in (including my twin sister) so we don’t have to pick and choose between our friends.

The problem lies in Lola’s close friend Maia. They did dance together when they were teens and she didn’t go to our school so I’ve never been particularly close with her but her and Lola see each other whenever she’s in town and they’re still pretty close. I’ve never been the biggest fan of Maia as she often lets Lola down and cancels her plans with her for something more exciting or forgets all together, and particularly when we were younger she would make weird comments about our sexuality (she’s straight) and ask us to kiss in front of her, ask Lola if she has a crush on her and if she wanted to sleep with her etc. She’s often hostile to me when we see each other especially when Lola gives attention to me rather than her. I’ve expressed my concerns about her to Lola a few times before because she clearly upsets her but she tells me it’s just the way Maia is, and that’s just how things go in long distance friendships.

Maia got married last summer and Lola wasn’t a bridesmaid (and wasn’t expecting to be lol) so I was pretty shocked when Lola asked her to be a bridesmaid in our wedding party, without asking me first. We agreed not to do formal bridesmaid invitations and we just told our friend group over dinner and we never once discussed Maia being a part of it. She came home from seeing Maia and told me she was gonna be a bridesmaid and we had a big argument because she didn’t ask me first, and she knows that I’m not close to Maia and that she makes me kinda uncomfortable. She said that I should accept Maia being part of the wedding because they’re childhood friends and that it’s only fair considering my sister is a bridesmaid. I honestly feel uncomfortable that Maia would be a part of our wedding after making weird comments about our relationship before and constantly putting down Lola and I told her that if Maia is gonna be a bridesmaid then we need to split the wedding party in two. She refused to uninvite Maia so I have left her in charge of sorting which friends are in each wedding party which she thinks is unfair. AITA?