The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/LabPopular3122 on 2025-03-12 08:59:24.
My husband (39M) and I (33F) have a 7 month old baby boy. Due to the baby’s unwillingness to assume the appropriate birthing position, I had to have an emergency c-section. We had known this was a likely possibility and so I’d been clear about my needs prior to going to the hospital.
I thought they were fair:
- I did not want to wake up from my c-section to people in the room - his family. Not because they’re bad people or anything, but I did not want people to see me like that. I knew it was going to be a vulnerable time and didn’t want people there.
- Nobody besides the doctors, nurses, and my husband were allowed to hold my baby before I was.
- We had a list of names - that I liked and he was okay with some. He was free to pick from the list or we’d talk about it when I woke up. Specifically, I didn’t want him to name our baby after his dad, which is what he’d wanted to do.
Let me be clear, he agreed to all of these.
Well guess what happened?! ALL THREE OF THOSE.
I was not prepared for when I was going to be put under…. They didn’t walk me through anything that was going to happen or give me any warning. I got wheeled into a room, they asked me questions about myself, and next thing I know I was out like a light.
I wake up and the first thing I see is his mom holding my baby. Mind you when I woke up I had no idea what was going on, forgot why I was there, that I had been pregnant, had a baby… all of it was gone from my mind…. But I wake up to all those feelings and his parents and sister are in the room and his mom is holding my baby. So that was the first thing and I almost immediately am starting to cry because I knew I didn’t want people around at that time.
Once people were gone, I asked what we were going to name him and my husband got a bit awkward and said he named him after his dad. I asked why and he said because the nurses had been harassing him about a name… yeah.
I asked why people were in the room and why his mom had been holding my baby. He said that his mom holding my baby was MY FAULT because I wasn’t immediately aware enough of my surroundings to take him from the nurse when I woke up. And then he got mad at me for being anti-family and always wanting to be alone when people just wanted to celebrate the baby and he wasn’t comfortable asking them to leave.
Fast forward 7 months to present day: we are broke because he doesn’t work and my life savings are now gone. I have the option to move back to my home country with our baby - he can’t come with me. That would essentially be the end of our marriage.
WIBTA if when I return to my home country, I file to get his name changed to one of the names we agreed upon prior to my c section?