The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Happy_Barracuda_9043 on 2025-01-30 03:33:37.

Hi Reddit users, I have a genuine am I the AH question. I am F (29), and my husband (28). My husband and I have been married for 8 years. I am financially responsible; he is very financially irresponsible, and it has caused a rift in our marriage. At the start of our marriage, I realized this character flaw, and to save him, I decided to take over his finances. When I first started to manage his credit, I took him from a 500 credit score to 700+. However, he became very angry and resentful of me doing this and basically said I treated him like a child and not a man. So eventually I stopped and allowed him to manage all his finances. Chaos ensued; he maxed out all his credit cards, almost got his car repoed, and was just behind on all his bills. The problem is he made MORE THAN ENOUGH TO BE CURRENT ON ALL HIS BILLS AND HAVE AT LEAST 2K AS FUN MONEY, JUST PLAIN IRRESPONSIBLE, and a porn addiction. All things that made me determined to end the marriage and move on. Within a year of him taking control, his credit was in the 400s. I was sick of this behavior and wanted out. I was in the military and would end up in barracks if I divorced, so I decided to wait until I ranked up in 6 months. I ended up pregnant (ensuing incessant crying). We eventually worked it out, and now we are years in. I bought a house even though he helped me financially to be able to do so. Only my name is on the mortgage because his credit sucks. I qualify for an American Express card; him not a chance in hell. So this is where I might be the AH. I preface this by saying this is not an AD. American Express is giving free European trips exclusive to card members. and it happens to fall on Valentine’s Day. I have just enough points to go by myself, but to go with him would be a 2k ticket. I want him to stay home and suffer the consequences of his own bad behavior even though I am unemployed because I was a student, and he would basically be paying for my hotel, etc. The 2k plane fare is just absolutely outside our budget right now as we have home repairs he will be paying for. He is still bad about managing his credit but great in his ability to make money. He currently has a card with a $500 limit maxed out. We live in a six-figure household in the south. Ensue continuous eye rolls until my eyeballs fall out. Would I be the AH if I left him and went to Germany by myself? We have never been. However, we have been to four different European countries, though, and plenty of Caribbean trips. I will miss him on the trip, but I will start a new job after Valentine’s Day, and I won’t be able to take leave days at least until six months after. This is such an amazing opportunity that I don’t want to miss, and if he was responsible, we both could be going and having an amazing time. To add, he is an awesome husband and dad, and porn addiction has been done with for years, especially after kids.