When I was being raped and tortured repeatedly by a younger male family member for over 2 years and cried for help, being told that it was something I imagined or made up to stir drama was extremely heart-shattering.
It didn’t matter how much physical evidence I had gathered, nobody in my life would recognize the seriousness of the situation or even take the smallest steps to prevent the abuse from happening.
I was too afraid to call the cops because even my parents refused to believe me. I lived in a very rural town which likely never encountered a situation like mine. Nobody was on my side. My abuser poisoned my family and friends against me before/during/after the abuse, to make sure I had no one to go to.
Same here. My mother never believed it happened.
I blamed myself, because that’s who society says is at fault when a girl has a high sex drive and gets in over her head.
If I hadn’t had support and understanding from a friend’s parents, I’m sure I would have killed myself.
Even though I clearly had nothing to do with it, I’m sorry.
Thank you.
I processed it a long time ago, and I’m doing well now.
Even though I clearly had nothing to do with it, I’m sorry.
Thanks. That was 10 years ago. I am making steady progress in realizing my dreams of helping others, but I still am struggling quite a bit even though I’ve made so much progress on my healing journey.
The cliché of “it gets better” does apply, but it takes a long ass time.
Have you had professional help?
I have not been able to find a good fit, no. Being in a rural area and being on Medicaid complicates this.
I considered online therapy, but I experience severe video/phone call anxiety. In-person therapy is fine, but the facilities around here aren’t trauma-informed/specialized in treating PTSD. They also don’t know the first thing about adult autism.
I’ve tried a couple times regardless, but I did not feel comfortable sharing any of the sensitive details to them.
I would give them a few chances, like tell them about my biological sister (18 years older than me, career criminal, took my parent’s identity more times than I can count, poisoned me with copious amounts of Benadryl over a period of time in my teens to steal from my parents, tried to suffocate me multiple times), but even sharing the smallest details did not inspire trust.
I’ve had therapists blame me or my anxiety for not being able to adapt to a hostile environment before I even was able to tell them 1% of what is actually going on. Acting as if I wasn’t being rational when I told them how many difficulties I had. Acting as if I could just ignore and get along with my sister while living with her…
Most people can’t fathom what I have been through. Since I present “normally” (i.e. mask), albeit with some level of visible anxiety, it makes it seem like things are not so bad to them.
I am seeking somebody, but I can’t afford the people who can help. Maybe one day. I have given up on getting justice and the person who raped me over and over is still free. As for my sister, well she is in court and will likely be going away for a long time for reasons unrelated to me - the jury will decide her fate.
Recently, she tried to frame my mother with a fake ID/renting scheme by impersonating her, giving out bad checks while seeking housing in a neighboring city in another state. My sister has been out of our lives for about a decade, mostly, and she still is trying to get my mother in trouble/hurt us. We have restraining orders against her and have for a few years now.
My mother nearly got arrested due to the fake ID(s) being so good. It fooled the cops, so it must’ve been fairly real-looking. Fortunately my mother has several witnesses who know it wasn’t her, but she still has to appear in court and deal with her bullshit.
Our circumstances are different, but it sounds like what you need is what I needed.
It took me about 16 years to find support, and when I did it was through a charity for sex workers. Even then it took three different therapists to find one who I felt I could trust, and when I did all the rubbish I held inside came pouring out. It didn’t fix it, but it meant I could start fixing it.
Since you’re in the healthcare equivalent of the wasteland in Mad Max, maybe the place to look is in mutual aid … support groups and charities. Just gotta watch out for the religious types poisoning the well.
If you want you can DM me, and I’m happy to chat over Matrix or WhatsApp. I’m no therapist, but I’ve been through similar shit.
I was sitting around a picnic table with a few friends and a couple new people we didn’t know too well. Someone had the idea that the new people go around and predict something about each of us, who they had basically just met.
One of them went around and said something super nice about each person, like “you’ll get that job you always wanted” or “you’ll have kids that will end up doing great things” stuff like that, kind of impersonal but nice generic predictions.
When she got to me she stopped, looked at me really hard, and said “you’re going to die, sad and alone.” There was silence for a few seconds and then most of us started cracking up, because we were sure she was joking. But when we stopped laughing, I saw she hadn’t even cracked a smile, and she looked me straight in the eye and said “I’m serious.” Then moved on and said something super nice about the next person.
This was more than 15 years ago and it hasn’t stopped bothering me. Needless to say, she and I never became friends.
What the hell was her problem? Holy shit, that’s absolutely mental.
Jesus Christ what the fuck
Maybe another stranger’s prediction will cancel it out?
Your final moments will be full of joy as you reminisce on a life well lived.
You will unfortunately, at some point, have an erection that lasts longer than four hours. You’ll need to go to the E.R. for it, but it’ll be fine and won’t affect your overall health.
Priapism. (sp?)
uh
never visited but I’m sure it’s a nice city
Some tourist you are.
I predict that you’ll die at 90 years old from too many orgasms during a menage a trois
What the fuck? Who does that shit? I hope she gets to experience what she tried to put on you.
My wife told me her cancer had moved to her brain. 22 days later through an unimaginable amount of pain and anguish she passed away.
I dont think anyone could possibly tell me anything that could hurt worse than that. (No fault of her own obviously.)
As a cancer survivor, as well as someone who lost the love of my life, I feel your pain. It can get better, but it does take way too long.
My heart with you, brother.
No, that guy holding a swastika flag at a Nazi march isn’t a Nazi. You don’t know anything else about him!
I don’t need to, though - and now, I don’t need to know anything else about the guy who said that, either.
Damn straight.
I used to compete in an annual competition in high school, one year I got 4th, the next third. You needed first to progress to national level.
A friend of my teacher said “when do you just shoot the horse” right in front of me.
Thankfully I never saw that guy again, but Jesus, what an asshole. That was the last year I did that competition.
I’m so lost. I feel like I’m missing something obvious here. Are you the horse? What does this mean?
Yeah, he was saying how many times do I have to lose before they stop sending me to the competition.
Oh shit! That’s absolutely brutal.
What the fuck? Were there so few participants that 3rd was a bad result? High school has four years, right? 4th, 3rd, 2nd, 1st place, seems to me you were on track.
No, it was a province wide competition, and I worked really hard to prep. Top 3 was very good.
The first place people were always awesome.
Wow, what a douchey thing to say >:-(
Probably a horse shooting competition
What an absolutely awful attitude to have around children. Forget celebrating all you achieved, or the fact that you’re clearly improving, it wasn’t good enough after two attempts so just give up forever.
“Grandma died during surgery”. I didn’t call her the night before because I thought it’d be awkward and I didn’t acknowledge the risk of heart surgery.
“Mom tried calling you but nobody could reach you”.
Till the day I die.
It’s not you mate; we all think there’s always more time than there actually is.
It was two occasions about eight years apart. One was Mom calling to tell me Dad died, the other was my brother calling me about Mom.
Sorry for your loss, whenever it was. It’s never easy.
“Sir, this IS the XL size”
They told me I had to go to another store for my sizes.
😭
My wife telling me that she can’t deal with me anymore in November 2024. We were together for twelve years. TBH, I was also sore that Trump just won the election despite that Project 2025 was public knowledge, so I was super vulnerable already, and her departure pushed me into a long-term psychotic break.
I had been getting progressively crazier in the years leading to her announcement. My psychotherapist discontinued my service to go on maternity leave some years before and I had then moved to Sacramento. Then the COVID-19 epidemic hit, everyone needed psychotherapy and so they all stopped taking Medicare since their schedules were packed with better payers. And then they all burned out.
So I went without mental health care for years figuring I could deal better than those who are not used to being crazy. Evidently not so.
There are more factors. Her job in construction was going south so she changed jobs to a non-profit that helps victims of human trafficking (and is still brutally busy but is far more fulfilled by her work), and the income difference affected our lifestyle.
“…are you aware that that is 100% terminal within a year?”
I wasn’t.
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its happened a few times in my life so i dont have an exact quote. i always wanted to be a part of something bigger than myself, be on a team, make something with my friends, help someone with their dream, whatever. i was basically told “you have no skills and no ability to help, so you would only get in the way”. it hurt so much to be deliberately excluded by people who i thought were my friends, to be told im worthless to them, im incapable of helping them. after a few of those i cant even bring myself to offer anymore, and no one ever asks. part of me doesnt see the point of living if this is how people see me.
This reminds me of my situation. I had always had an interest in investing and was interested in starting a business. So I spent a lot of time during my youth trying to get my family onboard. They never took an interest until it served my parent’s needs. In 2012 my dad got himself fired and decided to take early retirement.
I suggested a real estate business to replace his income with rental income. I offered to move back home with my partner who was also down with a real estate business. The rents agreed and we made the move back to wonderful Wisconsin. Over the course of two years I found and set them up with a very lucrative stream of rental income in a still booming housing market. Then they decided my partner and I were no longer doing enough or working hard enough and they cut us entirely out of the business.
Anyway I don’t talk to them anymore. Hope things are turning around for you.
do pretend we have class solidarity you fucking leech
Learning how to take advice from people you hate is a valuable skill. Be discerning, obviously, but coherent perspectives different to your own can offer a lot of value, regardless of your feelings towards that person.
I am sorry this has been your experience. You need to find better friends.
“When we got together you were skinny and your hair was long.” After a long conversation about my looks changing over time. It should not be shocking that he, too, aged. Anyway yeah he left me for someone ten years younger…
“Get over it, you’re a man, you should like it.” IT being endless levels of sexual harassment from a coworker.
You’re not a person, just a lump of flesh with eyes. My teacher, when I was eleven
Well that is very fucked up. Maybe we should pay teachers better to make it more competitive for the best and the brightest to teach our kids how to be normal and show them awesome shit instead. Like, we can have that.
