cw for abuse and emotional incest mention

feeling like I hit a milestone in my life where finally, I can see social interactions without the lense of “I am an outsider looking in, I would be so lucky to be included” “Any attention given to me is good, and I must reciprocate.” then following an isolation burnout, because you were treated disposably.

Suddenly I see something in common with my mom and people similar to her; “empath” or “friendly” types who actually move very selfishly.

its like… healing has looked like finding the toxic traits I picked up on and owning up to it. And then being able to spot it in other people… who themselves are in a similar situation, but have not pulled themselves out of the mindset.

I feel a tinge of survivor’s guilt for my sibling, who seems to be re-enacting our mom’s emotional incest 😩 or at least, calling the kids “best friends” and depending on them for emotional support, and getting mad at their boundaries, because of my sibling’s deadbeat husband.