The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/pinkgoddess0802 on 2025-01-06 00:09:11.

My (27F) friend Tia (26F) of 7 years had a baby about a year ago.

I was the first friend Tia told about her pregnancy. We talked constantly giving updates about our lives.

Being that I was “Auntie Tamera” I wanted to make sure her baby had all the necessities. I got various items including a stroller, car seat, etc.

2 weeks after Tia had the baby, I asked her if she was okay with me visiting them the following month. She confirmed and expressed her excitement to see me. A few weeks later I double checked with her before purchasing my flight. She once again confirmed.

Day 1 - The day I flew out to see them. The baby was about 6 weeks old. We arranged for me to go to her apartment to see them, but she ended up cancelling. I understood and asked if she was available the next day. She told me she was.

Day 2 (Her Birthday) - I wished her a happy birthday and told her if she’s still available I can stop by and that there was no rush. Tia told me she would get back home at 4 PM and she would text me to come over. An Uber to her place was $40, so I had the bright idea to take a 3 hour bus ride instead. I left around 2 PM and got to her side of town around 5 PM. After an hour with no response, I took the long bus ride back to my hotel. She text me around 9 PM that she forgot to tell me her family surprised her with a birthday dinner. I understood.

Day 3 - Tia later suggested we go to brunch, with the baby, the following day at 11 AM. She called me at 9 AM to tell me the baby was fussy and couldn’t come to brunch. I understood. She proceeded to tell me she would take me to see the baby after brunch. Brunch went smoothly. We talking about work drama, post partum life, our college days, etc for hours. After brunch she told me the baby was currently asleep and that she didn’t want me to be bored. She dropped me back off at the hotel, gave me a hug, and told me to have a safe flight. I smiled at her and told her to drive safely.

I felt very disrespected and frustrated. I never felt entitled to see her baby. I never wanted to impose myself on her. If she told me she was not ready for visitors, I would have understood.

I found out from a mutual friend that her boyfriend’s friend flew in from out of state and met the baby the day we went for brunch. She also saw her Instagram post. It was a picture of his friend and his girlfriend holding the baby thanking them for visiting. She knows I don’t have social media besides tik Tok, so in theory I was never supposed to know about the post.

She reached out about 6 or 7 months later. She never brought up the situation or apologized. We were super close before, but now we are more like associates.

My oldest sister thinks I overreacted. My other sisters think I need to stop letting people walk all over me.

AITA?

Why I might be - I might be the jerk because I never talked to her about it. I never told her how I felt or that there was an issue. She had a baby, so maybe I should have thought about her mental state more.