Hey! Sorry for the long delay in responding! It’s been a busy last week and current week!
It seems like last week was the week of abstinence for a lot of us! 🤣
Of course, I pledged to quit using escorts/sex workers for sex. As promised, I’ve done just that!
I’ve signed up to Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge. The only women who have matched with me are basically cryptoscammers from Singapore.
I did choose to open myself up to being matched with males for the sake of seeing if my account was being hidden by the algorithms. Considering I was flooded with male matches, I’m not being hidden - women just keep swiping left every time they see me 🥲
I’m sure I need to take a deeper look at my profile to make sure I haven’t said anything offputting or not having too many selfies (very guilty of the latter - I feel like guys just don’t ask their friends to take pictures of them near landmarks and shit).
So all in all, no hanky-pany, and no dates. Boo!
I did go to a charity event and saw lots of old friends, so that was awesome! Not so awesome? Getting the flu. This is why I’ve taken so long to respond to this thread, so my deepest apologies.
Going back to sex workers/escorting - I’m not going to lie, I do have a deep hankering to go back to the escort and have some fun, but I do realise that’s the lizard part of my brain that enjoys having sex on a tap. I also know it’s not good to have that expectation of women (even women in sex work) that are ready to have sex on my beck and call.
It is hard trying to challenge that lizard brain that wants nookie, but I also have to realise that the reason why I’m leaving it behind was the realisation that there are a lot of ethical issues around sex work - the escort I frequented accidentally admitted that there are times she doesn’t want to have sex, but effectively “encourages” herself to go through with it as she needs the money.
Now that sounds a lot like coercion to me - and it’s not the relationship dynamic that I want from anyone. So it’s just another week of putting a lid on it.
Oh don’t worry. I’ve been in bed with COVID all week so I haven’t been anywhere. Plus, it helped me put some perspective on things. At first I felt sorry for myself, but now I’m grateful of where I’m at.
Dating apps have not gone from my phone, and even my friend was like “mate, it’s only been a week. CHILL!” And he seems to get girlfriends like anything - so if he’s telling me to chill, I gotta chill.
Hey! Sorry for the long delay in responding! It’s been a busy last week and current week!
It seems like last week was the week of abstinence for a lot of us! 🤣
Of course, I pledged to quit using escorts/sex workers for sex. As promised, I’ve done just that!
I’ve signed up to Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge. The only women who have matched with me are basically cryptoscammers from Singapore.
I did choose to open myself up to being matched with males for the sake of seeing if my account was being hidden by the algorithms. Considering I was flooded with male matches, I’m not being hidden - women just keep swiping left every time they see me 🥲
I’m sure I need to take a deeper look at my profile to make sure I haven’t said anything offputting or not having too many selfies (very guilty of the latter - I feel like guys just don’t ask their friends to take pictures of them near landmarks and shit).
So all in all, no hanky-pany, and no dates. Boo!
I did go to a charity event and saw lots of old friends, so that was awesome! Not so awesome? Getting the flu. This is why I’ve taken so long to respond to this thread, so my deepest apologies.
Going back to sex workers/escorting - I’m not going to lie, I do have a deep hankering to go back to the escort and have some fun, but I do realise that’s the lizard part of my brain that enjoys having sex on a tap. I also know it’s not good to have that expectation of women (even women in sex work) that are ready to have sex on my beck and call.
It is hard trying to challenge that lizard brain that wants nookie, but I also have to realise that the reason why I’m leaving it behind was the realisation that there are a lot of ethical issues around sex work - the escort I frequented accidentally admitted that there are times she doesn’t want to have sex, but effectively “encourages” herself to go through with it as she needs the money.
Now that sounds a lot like coercion to me - and it’s not the relationship dynamic that I want from anyone. So it’s just another week of putting a lid on it.
Sorry things are not going great from the get-go with dating. You’re taking a huge step – please stick with it!
Oh don’t worry. I’ve been in bed with COVID all week so I haven’t been anywhere. Plus, it helped me put some perspective on things. At first I felt sorry for myself, but now I’m grateful of where I’m at.
Dating apps have not gone from my phone, and even my friend was like “mate, it’s only been a week. CHILL!” And he seems to get girlfriends like anything - so if he’s telling me to chill, I gotta chill.
Sounds like you have good friends to help you figure this out. You can do it!