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Yee. “Everyone is a bit autistic” and “autism is an infinite spectrum” really piss me off. Like, I have real symptoms. Trichotillomania and auditory meltdowns and hyperfocus are real things I deal with, people.
In the end, if you don’t share (some or more) symptoms, you don’t share a diagnosis— medical or mental. Autism needs to be understood so autistic people can get support and tools. If that means we need more-specific words than just “autism”, then that’s just how it is.
“You don’t seem autistic to me”
Never sure if people are trying to offer a compliment / comfort or accusing me of lying when they say this. Like, yes, I don’t seem autistic, because when I don’t mask my autism people call me weird. Of course I try to fit in.
Instead of “I’m autistic” say “I was diagnosed with autism”.
These days there’s no shortage of self-diagnosed, no professional opinion needed, thank you very much youngsters walking around and behaving like world owes them a thing, just because they neither do, nor want to fit into the society. This makes neurotypical people doubtful about declarations like that.
I fully understand wanting to avoid self-diagnoses for attention seeking or blame avoiding purposes, but I tend to lean towards believing people first.
One, because there is always going to be a discrepancy between the population of the accurately diagnosed and people who have a condition, because of poor access to mental health, because of the stigma attached with seeking help for and admitting to having a disorder, cultural differences in diagnoses and because there are poorly trained mental health professionals.
And two, because rejecting people outright when they share what may or may not be a serious problem they’re facing puts them on the defensive and tells people in the vicinity that you may not be a safe person or contribute to a safe place to express themselves.
The average person is going to be doubtful anyways, unless you fit into their understanding of your expressed condition. How many times have we heard “how could he kill himself, he seemed so happy?”
