when they ask me quietly, “did that just happen? are you okay?” and that’s when i know they understand what i’ve been saying all this time.
I think this right here is what’s so surprising about being trans in the US. One trans person, even in a group with non-trans people, will get slurs yelled at them on the street and harassed in the presence of others.
For many minority folks, being with others erases that part of your identity from that kind of attention. If you’re walking by yourself and a woman, you’re way more likely to get cat called than in a group that also has men. If you’re black, you probably won’t get the n word if you’re walking with a group of white people.
I’ve often wondered just what it is about being trans that makes people feel like open criticism and slurs are okay, no matter who is around. Is it that socially we haven’t decided that it’s not okay to yell slurs at trans people yet, and it’s purely a matter of how new of a concept it is to most people? Is it because of the incessant attacks by the right and how we tolerate open discussions questioning their humanity? I’m not sure but it’s certainly sitting in a weird place right now, and I wish people would grow up and see fellow humans as humans first, before looking at their identities.
I think it’s relative to the unfortunately common belief that trans ppl are constantly rubbing their existences in our faces. Why must we accept neo-pronouns? Why do they expect me to change my worldview to accept their existence?
I feel that there’s a somewhat threatening social expectation that a trans person should conform to existing gender norms and expectations. I’ve had many discussions with friends about “passing”. In certain parts of the world, passing is necessary for survival. They’re not doing it because they want to, but because they have to.
A non-binary friend recently told me that they were described by friends as a “social chameleon”, and eventually it became something that they resented about themselves. They ended up distancing themselves from those friends so that they could rediscover their sense of social identity.
With that said, I think the brazen public displays of aggression that we see towards trans folk come from people who believe that the general public agree with their views. I believe that if we speak up and call that shit out when we see it, they will begin to realize that actually no, not everyone agrees with them. Unfortunately I think most people are scared to speak up about that, and it’s easier to just turn a blind eye to it.
I think this right here is what’s so surprising about being trans in the US. One trans person, even in a group with non-trans people, will get slurs yelled at them on the street and harassed in the presence of others.
For many minority folks, being with others erases that part of your identity from that kind of attention. If you’re walking by yourself and a woman, you’re way more likely to get cat called than in a group that also has men. If you’re black, you probably won’t get the n word if you’re walking with a group of white people.
I’ve often wondered just what it is about being trans that makes people feel like open criticism and slurs are okay, no matter who is around. Is it that socially we haven’t decided that it’s not okay to yell slurs at trans people yet, and it’s purely a matter of how new of a concept it is to most people? Is it because of the incessant attacks by the right and how we tolerate open discussions questioning their humanity? I’m not sure but it’s certainly sitting in a weird place right now, and I wish people would grow up and see fellow humans as humans first, before looking at their identities.
I think it’s relative to the unfortunately common belief that trans ppl are constantly rubbing their existences in our faces. Why must we accept neo-pronouns? Why do they expect me to change my worldview to accept their existence?
I feel that there’s a somewhat threatening social expectation that a trans person should conform to existing gender norms and expectations. I’ve had many discussions with friends about “passing”. In certain parts of the world, passing is necessary for survival. They’re not doing it because they want to, but because they have to.
A non-binary friend recently told me that they were described by friends as a “social chameleon”, and eventually it became something that they resented about themselves. They ended up distancing themselves from those friends so that they could rediscover their sense of social identity.
With that said, I think the brazen public displays of aggression that we see towards trans folk come from people who believe that the general public agree with their views. I believe that if we speak up and call that shit out when we see it, they will begin to realize that actually no, not everyone agrees with them. Unfortunately I think most people are scared to speak up about that, and it’s easier to just turn a blind eye to it.