Since the day satire died on November 6, 2016 The Onion and all other satire sites switched over to being trusted news sources…
When I was a kid I would watch Saturday Morning Cartoons and I would wish that I lived in that world since at least I would know the good guys are good (and capable) and the bad guys are clearly bad and people generally don’t trust them and lose and be humilated time and time again, with no one being stupid enough to believe them.
Now I learned that the only unrealistic thing is that the villains are actually far LESS evil than most of the shitbags in real life AND they not only routinely win, but any action by any would-be hero would be seen as evil and wrong by many of them, and their minions never, ever realize that they’re being continually fucked by the villains and keep supporting them to their dying breath well after they’ve been fucked a million times over.
In short, most bad guys from 80s and 90s cartoons would have had far higher standards of behavior than real life people. Even Cobra Commander, Doc Terror, or The Shredder would admonish them for being too vile and team up with the heroes against them.
Yes I know that the article is a satire, but given the fucked up shit that Matt Gaetz has said and done already I almost took it for real.
The emulation of his heroes is pathetic. What a week little boy.
This is the most Pedo administration ever. Epstein would be proud of his closest friend, but unfortunatly, he died while his closest friend was president, sad.
I didn’t even realise this was an onion article
Same, I just sighed sadly and was about to move on to the next story.
I’m tired boss.
I’m really, really excited for the new InfoWars.
a judge gave it back to him for now
Hopefully the onion had time to set up gotten microphones…or have suggested it to him in passing hahaha
Actually, he would earn more followers.
I fucking hate that satire news are now just reporting factual information.
I hate that America took a good long look at trump as president for 4 years, took a 4 year break, and THEN said “Yeah, lets get more of THAT!!!”
In 2020 his followers were so angry that they staged a coup of the government because orange INSISTED there must have been cheating. Knowing full well that there wasn’t. Thats how his followers reacted to losing. They refused to accept the results themselfs.
Now in 2024, I can accept the results. I’m not claiming it was rigged. What I can’t handle is that America is this way. It’s like being friends with someone who just got out of an abusive relationship…and just as the bruises started healing, they go right back to the abusive asshole. And you’re like “WHYYYYYYYY??? WHY ARE YOU CHOOSING THIS FOR YOURSELF??? YOU’RE DESTROYING YOUR LIFE!!!”
trump didnt gain voters, Democrats lost voters
The US is a Boeing 737 MAX
trump voters is the autopilot that keeps trying to point the nose down
Democratic voters are the pilots trying to counteract the autopilot’s inputs
Pilots got too tired and let go of the yoke
Plane is now decending…
…username…something something relevant??? Seriously, did you create that username specifically for this single post? Or is this just a result of earth being terrible in general just happens to line up with us talking about how terrible it is, and you then happen to use an airplane analogy?
Lol thats the display name. You can change it at any time.
Basically its just people keep making this joke that “We must’ve died and this is hell”
So this is a play on that joke. This is a simulation, and its about to blue screen. Wake up.
(Okay I’m just depressed and like making analogies okay 😅🙃)
Proof you have to present your ideas as fun, uplifting, playful, and not moralist shaming sessions.
Trump voters didn’t look at the past and decide to do it again; they just still felt the same way as they always have. They want to feel good, not disenfranchised.
That’s the problem the left have to resolve. How to make voters feel good, and enfranchised by candidates.
That’s what Trump gives supporters, it’s emotional, not rational.
So what you’re saying, is instead of Harris, they should have ran OAC…in a bikini.
bernie sanders… in a bikini
How has nobody besides me upvoted this???
people are scared of the emotion roused by sexy sanders
Exactly.
Yes, there are plenty of problems with Trump, MAGA, and the Republican party, but it’s very obvious that Trump’s supporters are genuine and enthusiastic with their support. The only recent thing comparable on the (D) side was with Bernie, but the DNC made sure that didn’t happen. I have not met anyone with genuine enthusiasm for Clinton, Biden, or Harris (at least not without it being some form of “well, (s)he’s better than Trump”). The people leading the DNC would rather keep whatever power they can in the party, even if it means losing elections, than step back and listen to what voters truly want.
I swear that the DNC convinced her to use DNC-as-usual tactics somehow. As a campaigner I swear I saw the things that gave her the initial burst of confidence in her erode away.
What is fun, uplifting and playful about saying immigrants are eating pets? What is fun, uplifting and playful about accusing trans people of being sexual predators? Did we watch the same gop campaign? They’re fueled off hate stop making it seem like anything else.
For them, hate is fun (or the closest approximation thereof). It all makes sense after that.
I feel like a large part of this is that it’s consistent and shared hate. Like going to a shitty movie with friends or being stuck at the DMV/doctors waiting room, or dealing with taxes or whatever… people can complain because they know other people in the group will share their complaints and misery loves company.
It doesn’t matter if what you’re complaining about can be easily fixed, and they don’t want to hear a better way, they just want to bitch and have people reciprocate the same misery.
Whoof, caught me eating the onion, I absolutely believed he’d say that
Technically if you’re in his base that wouldn’t make a difference.
Check mate, the onion!
Onion or not his base and followers really would not care until he broke into their house and defiled their couch.
CPAC 2022: “We’re all domestic terrorists”
CPAC 2024: “We’re all pedophiles”
Majority of American voters: Omg I love these things! You have my vote!
“I’ll fucking kill your son if he touches my daughter at prom. But I would definitely fuck you daughter.”
Mister “grab them by the pussy” in the same administration as Mister “expose himself”. The US is multitrack drifting 1984 and a Brave New World.
MATT GAET FUCKED
He’s putting mo in molest.
