• CrazyLikeGollum@lemmy.world
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    25 days ago

    Considering making a wish on a shooting star? Been granted a wish scroll by an obnoxious DM? Give a lamp a handjob only for it ejaculate a genie? Then you need the services of Nine Hells Legal! Our prestigious law firm can draft up an ironclad wish for all your mortal needs! No loopholes guaranteed or your soul back.

    All fees to be paid in souls. Retainer fees are nonrefundable. The souls of the sacrificed and those otherwise deemed to fall within the purview of Hell are nonrefundable. “Nine Hells Legal” is a wholly owned trademark of Sir Asmodeus, esq. The archduke of the Nine Hells.