Heyuh, any hot tips on how I can get the hell out of this abuse house? BioParents have decided that one “no” is far too many and they’ve decided to try to break into my room. They’re yelling a bunch of bullshit and telling me to get out but also they’re trying to work out how to break into my room?!
I’m in rural northeastern Oklahoma; I’ve got a bit of money (assuming they don’t rob me of that somehow) but no real means of supporting myself because I’m autistic and agoraphobic in the middle of nowhere, relying on them for everything. I’ve finally got just a little bit of help (some medications at least, nothing fancy) and it’s just too little too late I guess.
tl;dr: BioParents threatening, bullying me. Need some kind of lasting escape, need help creating my own life if such thing is possible. Need to never be here again.
Edit: Sorry, I’m a bit scattered. Sorry if this is the wrong place for this. Couldn’t find anywhere that is. Also I may lose “their” Internet connection because cutting me off from help is totally not abusing me but actually a reasonable way for them to “take back their property” (they want all of my keys as part of throwing me out, I’ve never been able to deal with confrontation and they know it… blah blah BS). May be able to use my phone… ugh.
Edit 2: They called the cops on me.
Edit 3: The guy with the Punisher tat explained that no one had done anything wrong but they can’t throw me out without going through the eviction process. BioMom has been through that process before (she used to run an apartment complex!) so she damn well knew she couldn’t do that, and that the cops wouldn’t help her unless they were just hardcore transphobes who’d just as soon shoot me. No shock to me, the only logical reason she called them was to bully me harder or just get me killed.
Edit 4: Night now, managed a kitchen+toilet trip. Didn’t get thrown directly into jail nor “institutionalized” for daring to disobey my dear sweet loving and supportive (sarcasm) mother and her imaginary right to invade every detail of my life. Still don’t know where to go. I’m too old for many things, too young for others. Kinda afraid (ashamed?) to even try to contact any kind of shelter because like… they’ve got a handful of rooms and I’m gonna ask for one because I’m a thirty-something loser who’s broken and getting thrown out? They made me broken and they’re throwing me out for trying to keep one single detail of my life from her but… damn, is that really fair to ask, when others have been through so much worse? Besides, probably nowhere has any space available, so I’ll just be stressing over a phone call or whatever and get nothing from it but more stress. FML, wish I’d been born to an actually decent family or not at all. (Edit 4b: No-go on the whole family/friends thing.)
Edit 5: Still alive! Feels like none of this is even real, like I must’ve just dreamed it all. I think it’s this room messing with my head, like nothing can ever change. Am just yapping I guess 🤷 (Edit 5b: Oh, edits count as bumps. Sorry >.<; )
Edit 6: Now BioMom’s lashing out at BioDad too. Apparently she’s going to take us to hell with her when/after(?) she dies. What the actual fuck. Anyway, in case he comes and kills me I’d like to mention that the new name I’ve been flirting with is Keris. Nocritter asked and I’m in no state to be soul-searching right now but I kinda want to say it, I guess. Might as well try to be as me as I can when I don’t know if there’s gonna be a me in ten minutes. On the plus side, if she decides to still go to her thing on Monday I’ll have a window for escape. Just have to figure out how, and where to go.
Edit 6b: Okay, not dead yet. No idea what’s going on out there; haven’t heard anything in a while. Realized I may sound a little insane being afraid of BioDad when BioMom is the one screaming about taking people to Hell with her. She’s very movement impaired and can’t get to my end of the house on her own. Sad, yes. Complicated. He, on the other paw, is as cruel as she lets him get by with. He’s always been physically intimidating (though not yet “violent”), verbally abusive, always looking to do as much damage as he can without her scolding him for it. So if she’s not a factor… he’s a threat.
Edit/Update 7: They taped a seven-day eviction notice to my door. Looks like state law requires thirty but Idunno if I can last that long anyway, given I’m afraid to even cross the lil hallway to get to the toilet. I’m very not okay, I need somewhere safe to go, at least long enough to calm down and figure out what the hell to do but there’s just nothing for it. Might be able to afford a hotel for a couple weeks if I don’t eat. I’m not eating anyway so maybe that’s not so bad. No friends, no family, no space in shelters (and I don’t meet anyone’s criteria anyway), no place to go if I do manage to leave, no idea where else to even try or ask. Hell, I’m almost out of bottled water too. If any brave adventurers wanna swoop in and rescue me, now’s the time :-\
Hey Riikka. I’m really sorry you’re having to deal with this shit. Just hang in there and try to keep a level head (it’s really really hard, I know).
Please keep us updated. We are ALL rooting for you. Once you get to safety you can try and crowdfund some money to cover basic costs.
Trevorproject has 24/7 free crisis counseling for LGBTQ people. I highly recommend you explain your situation to a counselor on the helpline and see if they can get you to some resources.
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/
This is a comprehensive list of the plans you need to make and things you need to pack when getting out of an abusive situation:
https://www.drphil.com/advice/an-exit-action-plan-guidelines-for-leaving-an-abusive-relationship
My DMs are open if you ever need to talk. Stay strong. I believe in you 💜
I’m not a lawyer. That said, Ohio has eviction laws that offer you some protection even if you’re not on a lease/deed. Expelling you without notice is illegal, and from what I can find Ohio requires at least 3 days notice even if you were breaking the lease, and 30 days the rest of the time.
Stay calm when interacting with the officer. Let them know that you hadn’t been given notice to leave before today, you have nowhere to go, and that your parents are threatening you. You can also request to talk to a social worker. It may be in your best interest to leave to a shelter to stay safe from your parents, but sometimes shelters aren’t the best either.
I’m sorry you’re going through this, just do what you can to get through it.
Too late, but thanks. They didn’t say anything about social workers (dunno if we even have those or shelters of any non-storm kind out here) but did recognize this as my home and point out the bioparents have to go through the eviction process to throw me out. I can’t just walk out and go anywhere because I’m in the middle of nowhere and have no driver’s licence.
Do you have any friends or relatives who could give you a ride to a safer place? You also should look for shelters in neighboring states if you can’t find someone to stay with or a shelter in your state. First part is getting a ride to where you need to go.
(No idea why I kept typing Ohio in my previous comment, I meant Oklahoma 🤦♂️)
I’ve lived super rurally so I know how it is, it may be that your county doesn’t have a social worker or shelter, or only has a small number of them. It could also be that the cop didn’t care or didn’t want to deal with it, if you search for your county + social services that should give you a better idea of whether you can get any help locally. Adult protective services may also be able to help you since you mention being autistic.
