Hey ghosts in my machine! I promise not to spam post but I made a body progress college I wanted to share with you all. It’s from the day I finally decided I was tired of how I was presenting and needed a change from around 8 years ago. It took my first weight loss transition to reach my goal and realize I still hated my mirror to finally be absolutely certain I was trans. It took another 7 years after that to know I couldn’t just let it go.
It’s been a worn tooth and nail journey, and I’m not where I want yet, but when I see myself now, I finally see me. I hope the same for you.
I first learned about masking when I found I had autism years ago. Being able to take off my Mask from that at the time was a liberation I’d never felt before, but it was nothing compared to taking my Masc off.
I had to rip it off of my skin. It tore horribly and hurt awfully but for the first time I got to be seen. Nothing compares to a lifetime of a mask finally being taken off.
I know it took awhile for me to see this, but I’m glad I finally did. That’s powerfully poetic imagery, your masculinity itself being a mask obscuring your true self. I’m glad you were able to tear both masks off.