Shy anonness was so desperate she tried to ask anon out for a month but felt rejected so hard she moved to China. Press F for a fallen sister.
Why can’t they just say they want to date you?
Because direct rejection hurts. An ignored hint only disappoints.
Bullshit.
It’s a social - stupid - standing that states romantic/social/sexual advances must be started by the male part, which automatically relegates the female part to a passive/subdued part.
If you want someone, be bold. Doesn’t matter how you define yourself either.
I don’t really care if you are shy and can’t speak or any coping mechanism you may have built to justify your awkwardess. Just try.
Write a note. Have a mutual friend act as a liaison to help the first step. Write a letter. Blurt out the most incoherent speech you can muster. Then say it all again, only ten times slower. Send smoke signals. Use a parrot or a crow. But try.
It hurts a lot more to punish yourself for not trying, later in your life. Failure and rejection are part of it. Get used to it. Learn from it.
I didn’t ask for advice, just answered a question. And despite you thinking it’s bullshit, it’s probably the reason, people are not straight-forward.
And I was countering your reply.
So you try, you get turned down. Does it hurt? Yes. Is it the end of the world? If anyone replies with “yes” that is a serious issue because it is not.
Getting a “no” for an answer is almost guaranteed. What is there to lose? Perhaps the lost “yes” for not trying.
You’re missing the point. You’re trying to solve an emotional problem with logic. Your logic is sound enough but won’t help anyone emotionally hurt.
You’re right on the mark there: I missed the point, a good number of times, which sent me into a downward spiral.
It took a good amount of time and help to aknowledge I was responsible for 90% of my suffering.
Good on you ! I was never able to overcome this. I was lucky to meet my wife who is just as awkward, otherwise it’s safe to say I wouldn’t have had the courage to ask anybody out until much later in life. I remember a high school classmate telling me more or less verbatim what you said above : “ask, if she says no, so what?” unfortunately that never helped. Some of us were simply too shy, too far removed from social norms, or perhaps too autistic to act on that. Human interactions are a mystery to some of us. In fact, what he said made things worse for me, because it made me realize just how developmentally late I was, and seeing how easy it was for some people to get over the initial apprehension furthered my feelings of isolation.
Well done
I and my relationship are proof that the quickest pathway to true love is to fucking embarrass yourself. It’s surprisingly human and endearing.
Nah, she was just being friendly. Anon avoided an awkward misunderstanding.
High possibility she was just Canadian.
LisandroÁlvarez@threads.net
Bruh. I nearly just lost my shit like I thought we were supposed to be defederated from threads
I’m almost 40 and I can’t think of any situations like that. So it’s fairly safe to say I’ll probably never realize at this point.
I know of a girl from 13 years ago that I recently realized may have been interested in me. Just to be on the safe side, she probably wasn’t. For all I know maybe she was just Canadian and being nice.
The trick is to just find a goth girl with autism. She’s just as frustrated by the Guess Culture BS, and will outright tell you she wants to date. No guesswork involved, because she doesn’t know how to do it.
thank god my girlfriend used to be (and still is) extremely to the point
we were just walking with our friend group, then something happened that her and i were way in front of everyone else (i dont remember if they stopped or if we just walked faster), and she didnt know how to say it, so she just kissed me on the cheek
idk if its still possible for someone to misunderstand that. probably is
My girlfriend hinted that she liked me by getting under a blanket with me and taking off all her clothes. To be honest, I still wasn’t certain. We’ve been together 13 years.
oh god i saw 13 years before reading and it sounded a lot worse until the end
congratulations though, im happy for you!
She could be Canadian and just being polite
I missed multiple wide-open signals like this when I was younger. But I like how my life turned out, so no regrets.
Anon needs a wingman
One girl sat herself across the classroom from me (we had a U-shaped arrangement) and stared at me all year long. (She also talked to me once or twice)
One girl who was at the same bus station I was at every morning asked me to share a cab with her… for a five-minute ride.
One girl asked me what it feels like for me when I’m kissing.The third one, even though she was the oldest, seemed insincere and was way out of my league anyway, so I didn’t get the impression that she was after me until much later when a friend clued me in. In the other two cases, I did have an idea, but I wasn’t very much into either of these girls and the second one self-sabotaged her otherwise fantastic move by also inviting two of her friends who kept making a loud mess, so I couldn’t even talk to her during the ride anyway.
And so it took a long time for me to get a real girlfriend. Too high standards, in hindsight, plus I do have no difficulties with talking to girls, but with talking with girls. Turns out the vast majority is just not interested very much in the science-y things I read and did as a tyke, teenager and beyond. Not even in Hegel.Not even in Hegel?!
