“GIVE ME YOUR ID!”

“You don’t understand, I only give people my ID for real stuff. This is not real, this is a fantasy crime that you are enforcing to cover up for the fact your city is having financial problems.”

“I just wanted to mess with him; which is a douchey thing to do, I’m aware. But you know what else is douchey? To have THREE COPS working a JAYWALKING TICKET. That’s overkill! That’s a cop and a half per leg! That’s a waste of city funds.”