Change your frame of reference and the moon is just as much to blame

“What is the word for the thing inside corn on the cob? Huh, it’s impossible to know. Guess I’ll go with corn bone“

They don’t understand the concept. And using language in a way they don’t understand doesn’t help.

If you’re trying to talk to people don’t define the word to inherently include systemic power structures, then you’re never going to get anywhere by refusing to use language in a way that they understand. There’s no harm in specifying “systemic racism“ if the people you’re talking don’t include “systemic“ in their idiolectic baseline definition of racism. But just telling a person they can’t experience racism when their definition of “racism“ is simply analogous to prejudice will only make them defensive and hostile

Sadly, this is my experience too

The “original” version of that quote is unattested and likely made up post facto