Stop giving him ideas

Dammit, The Onion got me again. These headlines lately are too believable.

This seems less crazy than the things he’ll actually say

I believed it at first

Well it would be bad if we began eating soap. Right?

The onion should really start hiring like crazy. They’re about to start getting so much material that their staff will be totally overwhelmed.

Satire is dead.

But if you only eat poison, the brain worms will starve