Following an attack in which Hamas killed more than 1,200 Israelis and took an estimated 199 hostage, Israel has retaliated by killing thousands of Palestinians; cutting off water, fuel, and electricity; and ordering over 1.1 million citizens to evacuate from North Gaza. Amid the violence, death, and countless violations of the Geneva conventions, The Onion asked Americans how they are ignoring the conflict between Israel and Hamas, and this is what they said.
If you can’t do anything about it, and have other demands on your attention, ignoring it is not the worst idea. Marcus Aurelius already freed you from the obligation of having a take on everything.
“With the holidays coming up, I can’t risk forming an opinion around family.”
Some of the ficticious quotes are actually pretty good.