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Didn’t even get him orange Julius?
It would go excellent with his salads he loves so much.
Better hope he doesn’t ask where Fanta comes from
Fanta originated in Germany as a Coca-Cola alternative in 1941 due to the American trade embargo of Nazi Germany
What’s Germany? What’s America? What’s Coca-Cola? What’s an embargo? What’s Naziism?
What’s Germany?
Well, that one he knows at least! He fought with the Germanic tribes, who he notes came from a land called Germania.
Germany old AF no cap fr fr.
Not really. The existence of a unified German nation-state is less than two centuries old. Sure, there was a place called “Germania” by the Romans but it was just a name for a place and the categorisation of all Germanic tribes as essentially one barbaric people was just racism on the part of the Romans.
Just like even though the word “America” is twice as old as the United States, and just because that label was adopted by that country doesn’t mean the country is as old as the label.
He’d have a justified true belief, but no knowledge
Don’t go bringing that crackpot Edward Gettier into this. Caesar would know the Germans (those who hail from Germania) as a disorganized, unorganized group of tribes with a common heritage. That’s a justified true belief, or at least as justified and true as one could expect of him. His beliefs would not cover a unified German nation, at which point there can’t be a belief part of a JTB.
Charlemagne was older than that. The HRE was German by Roman standards.
The Holy Roman Empire was not a contemporary of Julius Caesar nor was it united. If your subdivisions are fighting wars with each other then I don’t consider that a proper “country”.
The Holy Roman Empire was not holy, nor was it Roman, nor was it an empire.
I think I’m taking this too seriously for historymemes, but if someone from the future came to tell me something was invented by “Slavia”, I’d probably assume it was a country northeast of what I know as Austria, even though those countries are currently at war with each other. I can imagine a future in thousands of years where they’re politically and culturally united, even though I can’t imagine one in twenty years.
Where are the Snowdens of yesteryear?
I don’t see how Caesar would be bothered by any of that.
Give him one of these useful knife blocks:
Oh, I might have to get one of these.
Too soon.
That’s the Asterix version of Caesar, specifically. Wonder if it’s an official product, or fan made?
I found it here:
http://craziestgadgets.com/2013/03/22/julius-caesar-knife-block-beware-the-knives-of-march/But it seems it was based on a sculpture which was sold on Amazon (and is currently out of stock):
https://amzn.eu/d/cUAPjYxWho nose?
Personally, I’d love to learn enough of the latin he spoke to be able to present him with a bottle of Cesar salad dressing and then tell him how many millions of people think of it when they hear his name.
“It’s named after a guy from Mexico, but they put your face on the bottle”
An Italian guy who opened a restaurant in Mexico catering to Americans because the United States had banned alcohol.
I’d give the people of hispaniola a few modern guns and ammunition around 1491 as well as a description of christopher columbus, his ships, and weaponry with full detail of what will happen if a single spaniard escapes.
God dam!.. I like you.
Fun fact, part of the reason no other expedition to the new world had been successful before was because the few that showed up were likely slaughtered before they could escape. The mainland was pretty hostile to newcomers.
It’s also possible they felt this way because it was the Vikings who kept showing up.
I mean that sounds great and all but what are the chances some other explorers find it and the same shit goes down basically the same way?
High but it gives them a much better shot
I like your thinking
Oh I’d just serve him a beverage consisting of vodka, tomato juice, clam juice, and hot sauce. After explaining the three ingredients he has no access to I’d tell him the name of the beverage before saying that he’ll kinda have it coming
Don’t forget the celery that won’t exist for 1700 years.
Wait what‽ Also didn’t know celery was in it. I’ve never actually had one of them, though I’d love to try, especially with something like a Parmesan vodka.
It’s usually got a celery stick in it.
It’s basically a bloody Mary, you’ll either like them both or hate them both.
Ok yeah but how is celery that young
Like most of the plants we eat today, 2000 years ago celery kinda just looked like a weed. In this case, parsley, which is what it’s named after. It was used medicinally in certain areas but it was never cultivated in any wide scale.
Then in France they decided it smelled really good and would be good in food. And because it was a bitch to grow the royalty took a liking to it. And after a few generations of selective breeding modern celery was born.
Turns out he’s allergic to oranges dies you take his place to preserve the time line but forgot he gets stabbed 23 times the next day.
oranges? in fanta?
unless you mean he’s allergic to the colour orange
Get your hands on some german Fanta. It’s the
goodslightly less shitty stuff.The color difference alone says it all:
gross, fanta is supposed to be orange, not yellow. Who thought making a drink taste like a plant was a good idea, drinks are supposed to taste like chemicals and colors.
The one on the right looks similar to Orangina (available in the US).
i’m European too, i don’t think it having probably 10%? of actual orange juice makes it much better tbh
Yeah, but they’re not mad at you. You’re a different person. If you give grandiose claims, you can make it another 6 months, even if you don’t fulfill any promises. It’ll give you time to dip out or conquer the Gauls.
Me with a time machine:
Imagine the Europeans met a significantly further developed native civilisation … Like steam engine level. That would have been interesting.
Years of Rice and Salt by Kim Stanley Robinson. Minus the Europeans, mind.
The Europeans didn’t have the man power to defeat the Aztec Empire that fast but as an empire, the Aztecs made enemies and all these enemies united with the Europeans to defeat their common enemy, not knowing what would come next. Similar stories in north America with some first nations allying with the Europeans against their old enemies.
The natives knew that.
But there was basically nothing they could do. The pox depopulated the continent so fast that the white colonists often encountered only remnants of destroyed civilizations wherever they arrived.
“Where’s my Orange Julius”
DAMMIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN SOMEONE ALREADY MADE THAT COMMENT
Unfortunately it was Chris Chan’s Fanta.
C’mon! That should be an Orange Julius!
Had one for the first time since I was like… 14? I’m 41. Drank it down. Started great. I’ve never felt so sick after something. Apparently I’m too old for this. I miss being a kid.
Or at least a Caesar salad
I’d give the ottoman empire (and by association the axis) modern weapons in WW1
If I ever successfully create a time machine, I’ll put Wednesday before Thursday. Just for the luls
Tbh that would be a nice harmless troll lol
You mean the Central Powers.
For all we know, that may avert WWII. WWI was less of a clear cut good/evil fight.
Oh yh but this would be an interesting outcome without the Central powers losing the treaty of Versailles wouldn’t have been signed that means Hitler wouldn’t have as much support (the ottoman empire would up the same we were already dieing, bit this time entand won’t be involved)
The Austro-Hungarian Empire would not have split and the US would never have gotten the postwar economic boost that made it a great power. The Cold War would have been tripolar, with Germany dominating Europe and probably the world.
Europe might be entirely different
Germany might also be kicked out of Africa later then they were
The Ottomans would turn around and kick Austria’s ass after they were done with Russia though. It’d end up being a more protracted affair when the Sublime Porte gets it’s revenge.
I don’t think so at this point we were already the dieing man of europe
Yeah, but automatic weapons changes that significantly.
Oh yh we could have made bank from selling modern weapons to other central powers and reconquer old ottoman territories
Why on earth would you do that?
Too see what happens? If it ends up worse then I could always just go back and stop myself
It ends at the atom bomb that’s kinda a hard stopping point.
What if in this timeline Germany (or one of the other central powers) invents nukes
You fool, now he will want more! And if you don’t get him his sugary fix, it won’t be a Fantastic day for you.
Render unto Caesar the Fanta that is Caesar’s.
“Hey Jules, you should get an MRI. Those seizures might be a tumor. It could kill you.”
