Yeah, then get out of bed to pee like 4 times
Or don’t. Its happy hour somewhere.
When i was in my 20s people always asked me how I stayed so skinny. “Have you tried being poor and being an alcoholic?”
You’re not a true beer connisuer unless you wake up positively shaking with excitement about having your next beer.
As a brain surgeon, I agree. *sips*
A bucket of milk with some coffee and a lot of sugar is a great breakfast! You’ll have great shits, too, especially if you combine it with the beer-only dinner!
This is my weight loss secret.
Adult. Diapers.
*taps head meme*
Go commando + Swim shorts + Crocs
You’re welcome. No more costly diapers!
Plus a free liquid leg tan!
a muumuu is traditional
Interestingly, the calorie counts on food packaging are derived from the Atwater system (and later modifications) that estimate digestible calories from the amount of fat, protein and carbohydrates in each food item. These numbers are based on experimental research on food substitution and weight loss/gain done in the late 1800s and early 1900s. The calorie counts for alcohol are similarly based on the measurable amount of alcohol in each drink, except that the number used (7 kcal per g) was just a complete guess on Atwater’s part since they couldn’t do equivalent substitution experiments involving booze.
If that’s not enough
“Almost”
My kind of intoxication… (☝︎ ՞ਊ ՞)☝︎
༼ ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉ ༽
(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
d(･ω･d)
Ahhhh, that’s where I went wrong, I was drinking 8 bourbons.
No, you’re doing it right. All 2 beers are gonna do is make me want more beer.
Wine Spodiodi for me.
PartyDrink alone as if it’s the Fifties.
When I need to eat but don’t want to put in any effort: half a cup of rice, half a cup of lentils, two cups stock (I use veggie stock, but you can use chicken, beef, etc.) Season with whatever you have in your spice drawer that looks good. Bring the water to a boil then lower the heat to low and let it simmer covered for 20-ish minutes. It’s bland but filling, lentils provide protein, it’s ready in less time than it would take to get delivery, and you don’t have to watch it. Rice and lentils will keep in your cabinet forever. You can get stock paste or boullion that keeps a long time too.
You can still have two beers, but now you’re not drinking on an empty stomach.
Your “no effort” meal, sounds like a lot of effort to me.
My low effort meal is “open packet, put ready meal in oven or microwave”
This is low effort and cheap and relatively healthy compared to those microwave dinners though, a big bag of rice and lentils doesn’t cost much and is shelf stable for a year easily
Massively cheaper and almost certainly better for you, yes - but arguably not as low effort as “beep beep beep, ping”.
The effort is in learning how to do it the first time. Though arguably that may be one of the greatest culinary achievements/contributions from the US food industry that comes to mind is the hardly canny ability for these food manufacturers to come up with a food that can not only be served in little plastic packet shaped packs, but have those packets reheat in “Approx. 60 seconds” in 8/9ths of all the microwaves in around and in use at that time, after I have taken the time to consider / have to learn the hard way [1] , how tough (another unintended pun this time) reheating meat or breads could be in high power models with numerous modes, which are suggested to be used in order to heat certain types/shapes/consistencies of some common food object types. (shoutout to the models without the popcorn button, but with a “Potato” setting, with no other words aside from the weight input selection).
[1] I once microwaved a pop-tart for 2 minutes when the toaster wasn’t working as a kid, for reference of where I had been starting from. Worst looking pop-tart ever afterwards, completely unrecoverable smoking hole in the middle of the thing after I came back into the kitchen blissfully unaware that I had blasted it waay too much (in retrospect, at least I knew/had been taught to remove the foil wrapper…)
:D lil more than recommended
^Pop-Tarts 3sec microwave guideline
What you’re saying isn’t untrue, but if I’m drunk I shouldn’t be in control of fire.
I prep this by mixing dry lentils and dry rice in a box with a measuring cup on it.
Compared to oven ready meals it’s just the extra step of using the cup to add from the box once and from the tap twice. And you don’t even have to wait for the oven to heat up.
Put the rice and lentils in a packet. You could also make this in a microwave. A rice cooker would work too.
This is easier than mac and cheese from a box.
This is literally the same amount of effort.
I do appreciate that the listed recipe is “relatively quick and simple”, but I’m not convinced by “literally the same effort”.
If it was, then why would anyone buy the millions of frozen/boxed/packeted “just put it in the oven for 30 minutes” or “just put it in the microwave for 2 minutes” meals? They’re not buying them for the high-quality taste, surely?
You know, I keep wondering this, because it genuinely is a similar amount of work. It’s just putting two dry and one wet thing in a pot. It takes me maybe 3 minutes. You don’t even have to do the ‘bring to a boil, then turn the heat down’ bit the other person described. Just turn on medium heat and leave it be. I’d probably take longer reading the package instructions and following them correctly on something ready made.
That said, I’ve gotten ready made meals for lunch when my work only had a microwave and no real kitchen.
In my experience most of the time it’s because nobody ever taught them. They grew up with shitty parents that made them think rice and beans are only for yucky brown people.
I prep this by mixing dry lentils and dry rice in a box with a measuring cup on it.
Pour mix from cup into pan once, pour water from cup into pan twice, add bouillon cube/stock. Turn stove on medium-low. Wait (take a shower or other 10-15 min activity, or experiment with additional spices into pan). Add veggies like frozen peas or spinach or corn, if feeling fancy. Turn off stove. Eat.
I put rice and lentils in a rice cooker, then eat with peanuts and aioli. Add microwaved frozen soy beans / corn if I’m feeling fancy. 5 minutes preparation, 20 minutes of wait.
That’s NO effort? When I’m going no effort, it’s a PB&J, and even that can take some motivation. Three ingredients is already pushing the envelope, but at least there’s no heat involved.
my no effort is a 10 minute (including bringing water to boil) pasta recipe that’s been handed down from my grandfather. i made it for my wife when i was wooing her because i couldn’t think of anything fancy to make, and it was, her words, best red sauce she’d ever had. gave me insight into (1) how good a cook my grandfather and mother were, and (2) how bad hers were.
As a depressed person myself this a big part of my diet.
Can I suggest putting some frozen kale or spinach in it as well? For extra veggies and taste. We basically cook that every week and I love it. Granted, I put a tad more effort into it (stir fry onion and garlic and tomato paste before I add rice, lentils, greens and broth) but it’s basically the same.
Also try adding soy sauce, smoked paprika, and liquid smoke. Just a drop but it does wonders. Yeast flakes are also great.
I am 35. I will absolutely regret this.
Should’ve stayed 22 😕
Fuck, why didn’t I try that
Damn, shouldnt have downloaded the latest update
Im in my 40s. Two beers is not enough for regret… But regret is normally the reason for two beers.
At 50 you regret reading the words “2 beers”
I’m nearly 50, is something gonna change next year?
Life starts … at 30
… to deteriorate …
I’m not quite 50 myself (also next year) but at this age it’s close enough. It could get worse, it could get better, but right now it’s hard to enjoy a couple of beers knowing how shitty you feel the next day.
Yeah early 30s here… I’d probably wake up having to pee around 3am and then toss and turn until I need to wake up because of the glutamate rebound lol.
400-600 calories. Decent nutrition and plenty of hydration. Dinner of champions.
The only acceptable substitution is 30-40 olives
Hold my beer, going back for more olive.
I drink two beers in the morning, I drink two beers at night, I drink two beers in the afternoon, and then I feel alright!
I drink two beers in times of peace, and two in times of war; I drink two beers before I drink two beers, and then I drink two more!
My friends say I have a drinking problem. A drinking problem! What drinking problem? I drink, I get drunk, I fall down. No problem!
A 40 ounce to freedom is the only chance I have to feel good, even though I feel bad
Came here to say this, but in my heart I knew it had already been said.
People stop at 2?
Start at 2
In this economy
Depends on the target and the social setting, and your tolerance.
At the bar? Hell no, we’re gonna get sloppy and tell jokes and laugh at each other.
At home, after a rough day at work, playing a board game, watching a show, 2 is just enough to imperceptibly lighten the dark clouds without impairing your cognition enough to fuck up the situation.
Drei bier ist auch ein schnitzel und dann hast du nichts getrunken.
Three beers are also a schnitzel and then you drank nothing.
I don’t speak German, but this phrase spoke to me.
A banana and a big handful of peanuts is a meal.
Add a porter or a stout and it’s a 3 course dinner.
Bananenweizen if you’re efficient
